So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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