I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
