Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
