I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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