Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
