I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
