We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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