so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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