so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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