I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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