The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
