In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that's an acceptable place to lick
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
