im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
bring money and cleavage
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
