we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize