she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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