My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
two words...techno handjob
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize