no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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