Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
