We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
