Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
