I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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