Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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