I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
