sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
