Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
