What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
