Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
