Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
