it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
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If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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