That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
