Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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