why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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