Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
