ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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