Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
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Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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