So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
