My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize