She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
