why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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