I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
