Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
