she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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