im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
