Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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