I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
