that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
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I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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