shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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