So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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