is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
