he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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