Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
