the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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