dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize