Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
