just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize