Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i am craving dick and cupcakes
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
