I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
