oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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