Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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