it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
