y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The uberlube is also flammable
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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