Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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