I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
