I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
