Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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